I will try to present the 6 schools of modern psychology.
All have a lot to offer. I would ask you not to get into just one.
For some disorders one is better than the other. They are not for every disease. A great thereapist would have all of these guns under their belt.
The Psychotherapists (clinical psychology) - Freud and Bradshaw (spirit)
Introduction Sigmund Freud (1856-
(Get a picture of Freud)
Freud is THE most well known psychologist ever.
He is definetely one fo the top 5 most important westerners of this century.
He is the guy with the notepad, next to the guy on the couch. He greatly influenced the way western man thinks of himself. Our arsenal of thoughts. He is hated and loved but always big.
Not only is he huge, but many of the huge big wigs in psychology studied under him. Erikson, Reich, Jung, adler, Horney.
He was particularly able to get popular in the crazy world of Post - WWI Europe. His sort of explanation for WWI made more sense than anyother system.
Freud is a spiritualist, but his training was as a doctor. He thought that a physical location would be found for everything he “discovered”. But he new that neurosceince was too young.
Some of his ideas may seem Kooky. But he looms in all our minds. When we hear crazy underground music, it s freud. When we say projection, repression, id , superego, defense mechanism, oral fixation, anal retentiveness, or so on, we are using his words.
When we wonder what happened to someone to make them such and such a way, that is freud.
To see his influence, contrast him with william James.
Freud’s biggest contributions-
Freud’s biggest contributions are his emphasis on Childhood experience and the concept of the subconscious.
-Childhood is important-
Theadult is a grown up version of the child. The child is the father of the man.
If the child is overly toilet trained, he will become anal expulsive. If under trained, anal retentive.
If the child cannot get attention from the parents, he will get attention from the world.
If the child is smothered in love he/she will be unable to love.
If the child is sexually assaulted, then all their relationships will be affected.
If the child is given too high expectations, they will quit before they get succeed generally.
There are three levels of consciousness: They are neither permanent or absolute. Things can go back and forth from one level to another.
Consciousness is 1st.
It is the same consciousness of everyday opinion. It is what you think.
This is stuff that isn’t currently in your consciousness, but could be brought up easily. These are memories that you just aren’t thinking of right now.
It can very easily go from preconscious to conscious.
One could say that the goal of Freudiansim is to bring the subconscious into consciousness.
This is often stuff that you’ve forgotten, but the effects linger on. Perhaps you desired to forget it.
A patient say s he feels compelled to never make any mistakes and must always be right. What accounts for this?
For Frued it is something that happened in your childhood that sits in your subconscious.
Perhaps you are almost always a little depressed without knowing why.
In fact, why we married someone or took a certain job may be determined by things that happened in child hood.
These are the subtext by which we live.
Often if these memories are painful, they are blocked out by design. The mind is defending itself.
The iceberg analogy.
write ten lines on how a childhood or your childhood affects you today.
The goal of psychotherapy is to make the subconscious conscious.
WHAT MAKES A PERSON’S MIND?
freud’s most important concept for our purposes is the id, the ego and the super ego.
The id is the animal sex and aggression part of us. It is the part that seeks to be satisfied imediately. It is the part that wants to kill people that make you angry, possess those that make you happy, rape those you find sexy and eat people when you get hungry. It is the animal in you. All have this.
The ID is the earlies thing in evolution. It comes, biologically, from the need to survive and we are always drawn to reverting to it. Frued thought neurobiology would ulitimately find it.
It is our main motivation in life. It is driving us in every moment.
The ultimate example of this is the oedipus complex. This is the boys desire to possess his mother . It leads him to try and out compete or kill his father. This desire to out do the father leads to leaders and the desire to be the primal ape. The desire to be great comes from this complex.
Id includes all that is subconscious. Your real motivations.
Fictionally, Write of what are your worst desires - 5 lines
-Super - EGO-
The super ego represents what society wants. Society wants you to only think of its needs. To always be polite. Brush your teeth. Sit quietly in class. Never hit your teacher and be good.
Write what your society and family would have you do.
This is how you balance out the two. This is how you satisfy the id by playing the game of the super ego.
This is created by sublimation. Sublimation putting a bad desire into a good one.
So you want to rape, but instead you get an “A” in history . This will get you the girl eventually. It gives you something to do with that energy.
Our real motivations are , therefore, not what they seem.
The Development of thesubconscious:
The id shows up in your subconscious under the name the LIBIDO. Libido is the sex drive energy.
The libido effects you in phases as a child.
Oral phase (birth - 1 1/2)
This is seen in sucking and biting.
At this point the child doesn’t distinguish him/her self from their mother.
The child is stimulating themself. If you don’t get enough you may become too narcissistic. You may not be able to think of others. Or you may not be able to love yourself. This is a question of self-esteem.
This has residue in smoking, drinking, chewing gum.
This is narcissism.
Anal (1 1/2 - 3)
This is the time of potty training.
You may become anal expulsive or anal retentive.
This is a question of self-reliance.
This is where the oedipus complex develops. The boy gets castration anxiety and the female penis envy.
Freud wants to find out what’s really going on.
People were to lie on a couch where they couldn’t see him. THis was to get them relaxed and also so that they could concentrate on their own ideas. And say whatever came to mind. This is called free association. The patient was especially not to cencor any thought or feeling that came to mind because it was deemed inappropriate.
To find out what’s really going on the person must be like a detective. You must learn to follow leads.
Freud also asked people to tell him about their dreams.
The talking and the dreams were to find the subconscious conflicts that made them have their subconscious problem.
Eveuntually, Freud hoped to get the person’s subconscious to become conscious. This way they could see the origins of their problems, process them consciously and then be done with them.
As long as subconscious stresses were running the person’s life, they could not be whole and in control.
So you must find out what’s really going on.
Detective Clues to follow to find out what’s really going on
They have OCD or Anorexia, or depression or anxiety disorder or a drug problem.
Say that the person always gets into relationships where the other person isn’t good enough. Hmnn.
They get into fights.
They always feel alone. When they get into an intimate setting they freak out.
They must work and work and work and work....
If a person always feels alone then perhaps their parents.....
This is when you see what’s going on with you in others.
Strong emotions give this away. If you say I hate _____ . Why is it that you have such a strong emotion with that?
Follow that lead.
First you may hear I really hate that man!!! It is strong so you follow it.
Q: What is it about that man that you hate?
I hate men that think their superior.
Likely you will find that the person hates that in themselves. So they hate to see it in other people.
Once this is established you might use free association. Just lie down and tell me about people that do that.
I hate people that don’t dress well!! Hmnn. Perhaps you hate you dress impecably yet still hate yourself for the same reason.
When this happens to the therapist it’s called transference.
Patient says “You don’t give a damn about me therapist!!”
What might you do?
The person may not like themselves, or it may be an excuse for not getting emotionally involved.
If you are two minutes late and the person gets very very uptight. What is the issue here? You will not solve it by saying “ just chill chuck!” What might you do?
Perhaps a little impatience in your voice sets the person off.
Projection and transferrence are essentially a repetition of infantile attitudes.
This is a hard one to quantify.
Or keeps beating themselves up.
If a person seems really angry.
Or wants to always be right.
Or really cold, or really cries too much.
Active listening is a listening for conguence between body and words.
A good therapist is always aware of the way a person sits. If they sit with their body parts sprawled that is a sign of openess. If they cover their stomach, that is a sign that they are hiding some feeling.
This is when someone says something that they didn’t mean to say . They say it is an accident, but for Freud there are no accidents. You would you like to have a sex. This is not an accident. Listen very carefully to what people say.
My fiancee asked me if I was tired of playing the field and chasing women. I said “No”. Then I said “I mean yes” For freud there is no I mean yes.
If you say “Good bye” instead of goodnight, that means something.
What your conscious mind can’t look at directly turns into symbols. So the dream is a thinly veiled account of what your id desires.
Here the clash of childhood problems and the id fighting the super-ego comes out.
Dreams reflect the wish fullfillment. Often oone wishes things that have been hidden in the subconscious because they are too scary for the conscious mind. To protect one fro m them (they would wake and disturb you) your dream disguises these things in more acceptable forms. So a dream is confusing because it is not about what it is about.
It has a hidden meaning that must be gotten out. This can be done by talking about it and also analysing it and also seeing what the feeling in the dream was like.
You dream the analyst is really ugly and crippled. This may be because the analyst said something to humiliate you so you want to see them deformed. Or perhaps, the analyst has threatened your sense of superiority.
You know the interpretation is correct when the person says” AHA!! that’s it it Fits”
My fiancee had a dream:
She dreampt she was in Japan. And her father was very angry at her sister for doing something wrong. She knew /guessed that it was having relations with a man. Her father was screaming and like an animal ready to hit her. Her sister was crying so she cried too and comforted her sister as her father yelled.
Later she told me that since the dream was in Japan her sister was probably having an affair with a Japanese man.
Write a dream of 5 lines. Then come up with a meaning of the drawing seeing how it hides sex or aggression.
Defense Mechanisms: Clues that keep people sane.
This is keeping unpleasant thoughts out of your head. This is actually a good thing in moderation. Its how we all continue, we deny our death and getting old. And in conversations we use pleasant topics.
I don’t like to think about my childhood. So I just don’t. I like baseball.
Often a person has memories so horrible they don’t want to share them. So they repress the memory. This is glaring when a person cannot remember several years of their life.
This can be spotted when you see things that just don’t add up in a persons life. A person’s sister commited suicide and another sibling is in jail and when asked how your mother and father were you say “they were really good parents”. Hmnn bad genetic stock I guess.
Or tell me about your childhood and you can’t remember anything. Freud would say that something happened that was horrible.
This is especially true in the case of incest. The child will exhibit many symptoms, inability to love, fear of intimacy, depression, but they don’t remember.
This is channeling unacceptable impulses into positive endeavors that the super ego would agree to.
The person who uses this is a super do gooder!
Perhaps you have a strong desire to conquer your mother. But this cannot happen. So instead you take all that negative energy and channel it into work.
Perhaps one is always giving to others. This is subconscious hostility. Perhaps noone gave to them as a child. So now, they are trying to say goddamn you this is how you give. They don’t really want to give, but to kill their parent.
Perhaps a mother is really good and helping her child. This seems like really good behavior, but again it it is self hate. You’re not going to mess up like I did. All the pain I went through.
Or you want to kill your mother. But this is unacceptable and you , therefore, take really good care of her and always worried about her health.
He was really sure this was the case with Obsessive-compulsives. They are making up for a terrible trauma of the past.
A big thing here is love choice. You chose that man that beats you , because he reminds you of your father, who also beat you. You want your father. You married that woman because she is like Mom. Or maybe because she is completely unlike mom.
This is taking unpleasant impulses and channeling them into unpleasant things that are not direct.
The person who uses this may be a rotten person.
So you hate your mother so you trash her flower bed. Or perhaps she is overprotective so you become a drunk.
Tell the Boss yells at the husband who yells at the wife who yells at the kid who yells at the dog.
A person that is afraid of killing themselves may become afraid of heights.
A person who is unhappy at home may come to school and beat up his fellow students.
This is a disconnect between emotion and plot. Someone was molested as a child and they say well, it wasn’t that bad. When asked to tell of the event, they tell of it very cooly.
Perhaps, their parents always fought. They say oh all parents fight.
A person who does this will often never get angry and take a lot of abuse.
If you ask a person abou ttheir childhood and they say yeah he beat me, but it wasn’t so bad. I don’t have to cry over that that was in my past.
People who overly intellectual belong in this category. They may be hiding some really horrible feelings.
This may also include saying yes they beat me but I was really a bad kid. Or yes he lies to me but its only to protect me .
Or you are fatand want to diet, but sit down to a big pig breakfast and say well everyone needs a good breakfast.
You fail all your classes and you say well, school is for dumb people you are too smart.
Introduction to Bradshaw
John Bradshaw is the obnoxious guru of the AA movement. This is a movement that helps all peoples related to alchoholics or have suffered any abuse. It is probably the largest movement in psychology today. It has been very successful in ending addiction. And there is a whole industry of AA NA CA ACA CO-DA.
HIS MAIN theory
The basic idea is that bad parenting makes the child hide. The child hides due to shame. He copes with this shame by creating a false self, because he cannot see the parents as bad (due to the survival strategy “the fantasy bond” that makes you not thing your parents are bad).
Emergence of the False self
Children naturally accept and give and take love very freely. They are open wonderous caring beings. If this impulse is not tampered with they become free beings.
The believe much of the following:
READ pgs 60 & 61 from Keyes Jr.
These are what a healthy person thinks. But so often, the child is damaged.
A mature person is one who has differentiated himself from all others and established clearly marked ego boundaries.
Such a person can relate to his family system in a meaningful way without being fused or joined to them.
Then one can move about them emotionally free without anger guilt or absorption.
If one wants to go away with friends for christmas in a healthy family, they will say okay and if not then you will not collapse into thinking you are bad or...
A healthy family unites our self actualizing needs with our need for belonging. You can be an individual and still be a part. Then you are free to be whom you want to be.
Functional Parents model self discipline and self love for their children. They also model maturity and autonomy.
Self-worth, self-love, self- acceptance and the freedom to be unique (not the _____ one) are needed by each person in the family.
If the family , marriage and parenting are good then you get the three freedoms:
1. The freedom to think what one thinks, rather than what one should think.
2. The freedom to feel what one feels, rather than what one should feel.
3. The freedom to feel want (desire) and to choose what one wants, rather than what one should want.
BASIC FAMILY RULE #1
The basic family rule is that there willl be an intact mother and father unit.
If Mom is an alcoholic, then someone must step up to take her place. Perhaps the oldest daughter will start doing all the cooking.
If the marriage has unbearable tension, somone will be funny to add joy to the family and distract from mother’s dilemna.
If father isn’t there for the family then little Johnnie or Suzie will step up to the plate.
As each child does what it can to make the situation okay, he or she loses their own true identity.
The marriage determines the family
Mom’s relationship with herself and Dad’s relationship with himself and their relationship with each other is the foundation of the family.
The husband and wives are the architcts of the family. Dysfunctional families are created by dysfunctional marriages.
In a healthy relationship each person is bonded by desire and not out of neediness.
All parental abuse stems from the parents own needs for completion
As children they were humiliated, laughed at, manipulated, intimidated, brushed aside, ignored, played wiht like a doll, treated like an object, sexually exploited or brutally beaten. What is worse, they were never allowed to express their rage, shame and hurt (especially that from being treated terribly).
A dysfunctional family sets up shoulds , oughts and musts by which to measure each person. In such a system each person is trying to make up for the deficiencies of the others.
People give to the other hoping that the other will complete them. When that doesn’t work they have kids. This is the beginning of the end for the child.
Dad is an alcoholic, then one child may become the Hero, because the family system needs some dignity.
If the family is cold, then one may become the warm and loving one. Dad is angry, we willl always be trying to manage others feelings with niceness.
Perhaps you rebelled. Then you are adopting the false-self of “i don’t care what you do or want your love” The submissive child will earn that love no matter how battered.
THE FAMILY AS SYSTEM
The patient of psychotherapy is actually a symptom of current family-disfunction. Family members are all caught in roles of victimizing and rescuing eachother.
The difference between this and Freud is that Bradshaw is looking at the current family system.
You are your family as well as whatever uniqueness you’ve been able to create. My grandfather wasn’t loving to my father and so I am not to myself. I carry that around with me.
Often you’ll see a person with a problem. People have usually treated that as the person’s problem. But, they should be viewed as a symptom of a dysfunctional family. they may only be the one trying to get the family some help. The person is acting-out the larger family problem. A family is like a mobile.
Kids do drugs to distract from and save their parents marriage.
A family system is more than the sum of its parts. Because everyone in interacting to eachother in multiple ways.
Its like a mobile. in that if one part moves they all move.
Tell nora’s parents not having sex, so the dad is innappropriately bonded to her and they fight. then someone else gets the heat for that.
HOW A CHILD IS DAMAGED
Here are some common ways that a child is damaged:
1) The parent pysically leaves the child.
2) The parent doesn’t model their own emotions for their child.
3)The parent doesn’t affirm the child’s expression of emotion.
4) By not providing fo r the ir child’s developmental dependency needs.
5) By physically, sexually, emotionally and spiritually abusing them.
6) By using children to take careof their own unmet dependency needs.
7) By using children to take care of their marriages.
8) By acting shameless.
HOW THE CHILD COPES
But no 5 year old ever packed his bags and left. Said this is it i’m gone. They cannot.
To cope they develop a false self to please the parent. It is one which isn’t based on a healthy love for oneself, but is a dealing with the pain self.
A child is incredibly dependent. We could not afford to lose Mom or Dads love. We kept trying to “buy” their love by giving up pieces of our tru self..
This false self is a pleasing one or a tough guy defense or something that covers up what the real problem is:
That one feels a sense of shame about who they are. They don’t have a healthy love for themselves, but basically consider themselves flawed. This false self forms a defensive mask which distracts from the pain and inner loneliness of the true self.
The child may have been spanked or told to shut up when he or she cried. It held its tears but stiffled tears at the expense of repressed resentment aimed at the self.
If sexually or emotionally abused, the child takes on the blame and makes themselves at fault. They get into self abusive behavior. To hate the parents would cause unbearable anxiety.
Abused children are more bonded than other children. They have less self-worth and their choices are limited. They decide that if they were good daddy wouldn’t be mad. So they take on false self and then look to daddy for approval. This again is a false self.
This false self is based on shame.
Guilt means I’ve made a mistake. Shame means I am a mistake.
Since one’s inner self is flawed by shame, one creates a false self.
Most people don’t feel great about themselves.
The child parents himself the way he was parented. If the child got shamed at for feeling sad or angry, as an adult he will shame himself for having these feelings.
We then get dis-ease. We distract from the pain we feel by focusing on what we eat, what we drink how we work orsex or play or start drinking or DO ANYTHING TO DISTRACT US FROM OUR PAINFUL FEELINGS OF INSUFFICIENCY.
Due to distress in the family (often alchoholism) each person becomes hypervigilant, anxious and chronically afraid. In such an environment, it’s impossible for anyone to get his basic human needs met.
If Dad’s drunk Mom is busy ignoring her emotional state with him, noone can tend to you. You are abandoned.
Everyone is managing everyone else’s feelings and then they are alone.
People grow up and have adult bodies, look and talk like adults, but in them is an insatiable little child who never got his or her needs met. This is called the INNER CHILD: the child in you that never got their needs met.
Abandoned people get FUL-FILLED in several ways. They can eat or do drugs or be looking to score a sex partner busy all the time. They are trying to make up for the fact that they were left alone.
A person may always be sad. That is a way to ignore the pain and anger of being abandoned.
The person always looks for more love, attention, praise, booze, money etc.
Compulsive obsessive would be another way to avoid feelings.
HERE READ BRADSHAW’S COLOR FAMILY EXAMPLES FROM PAGE102 ON
There is a low level depression that happens when you have a “hole-in-the-soul”.
ACA - Adult children of alcoholics
A big part of recovery is to recover that lost hurt child within you. You need to find that child that was hurt and to nurture it. You need to protect it and get back to the original state that first handout talked about.
Today, 60 million Americans are seriously affected b the pain killing use of alcohol. It is the leading killer in this country. Next is heart disease and cancer. This are due to eating too much or smoking too much.
Families get into equilibriums. They get into spots that stay the same.
The child is pleasing but dad disapproves so the child is more so so the dad disapproves.
Man doesn’t talk so woman nags, but he doesn’t talk because she nags so he doesn’t talk.
Or maybe noone talks in the family.
The child gets to think that is normal and will look for a relationship that is normal feeling to them. Beating children becomes normal because that is what happened to dad whenever hisw feelings were shown.
Individuals seek out the only relationships in which they have experience. You may think no my relationship is just the opposite, but you’re still defined by it. In this system
EVERYONE IS RESPONSIBLE, BUT NOONE IS TO BLAME.
The child then feels that they are bad (and continues to keep, in this way, the fantasy bond).
Then when adults, in controlling our own children and putting them through what we went through, we struggle to regain the power and dignity we lost to our own parents.
Shame governs the entire family. The rigid roles are cover-up defenses against the shame core. One must constantly act to make the other feel better.
Don’t blame your parents, they only did what their false selves could do. Love the authentic part of them to see it grow.
Whenever you criticize or udge another person , your projecting onto an innocent person a part of your injured, false-self that your subconscious mind is trying to hide from your awareness.
Tell the kick the cat story. The boss chews out joe. He yells at his wife, she at the child he kicks the cat.
Child abuse is always based on a care takers unconsciouys need to restore the feeling of power lost in their childhood.
The child-adult unconcsiously develops a feeling of power by identifying with their ex caretakers.
Children are abused for qualities the parent hated in themselves because it evoked so much childhood pain and disapproval from their parents.
“no no” don’t show me free anger I don’t want to see that. I was told that is bad”
Look at them. Once you realize what you have become, you must make amends for your misdeeds.
This is the same thing as group therapy, but is a group of people with the same problem.
This is good because people can find out that they are not strange or alone.
You must connect with the hurt child. Give it good messages. Make it feel safe.
You must find out what YOU feel like again.
The goal of getting to the basic dynamics of the person is the same.
Do Fair fighting rules from page 53 of Bradshaw’s The Family
You must not use stories or use irrelevant talk.
You must only use “ I “ statements. Don’t say “You make me angry” say “I feel angry when you say that”.
WRITE 5 LINES THAT ARE ACCUSATORY AND TURN THE M INTO “I” STATEMENTS.
A good comminicator is aware of both internal processes in themselves and external processes in others.
You then get valuable feedback from the others as to what you are doing. You get feedback like you are always accusing people of things.
SHOW PSYCH VIDEO # 23 THERAPY CHOICES
Using these we can perhaps differentiate from what we need or want to hear and what we are hearing.
We can distinguish our gut reaction from the past and the present.
HERE EACH USES GROUPS OF 3 TO WRITE A SCRIPT of a THERAPY SESSION.
This is a couple in therapy and one therapist.
In this session we have to see two clues to the subconscious and two efforts to cover it up and the therapist must point out one fair fighting rule.
THESE ARE TO DEMONSTRATE SOME CLUES THAT SOMETHING DEEP IS GOING ON.
CRITICISMS OF PSYCHOTHERAPY
1) It blames too much. This has two ramifications:
a) People are victims. ie it wasn’t his fault that he murdered someone, his mother was abusive. It isn’t her fault that she is very overweight. He doesn’t do his school work because dad....
b) People are blamed. So, for a long time, if the child was autistic the parents were said to have done something terribly wrong to cause it. Think of how hurtful that is to a stressed parent. We now know that it is an organic disorder.
If your child ends up commiting a crime you were automatically a bad parent.
The individual is more stigmatized also. She is not only heavy now because she just is naturally, it represents some inner emotional problems she also has. Not just a smoker, but one who is stuffing their feelings.
2) It takes too long
But AA is really effective
The applications of Freudianism to school has been enormous.
1) The use of the term acting out. The child who is disruptive in your class is not to blame. They are simply acting out a problem from home. You should seek to understand and comfort that child. Getting angry at them will not help them. They are already troubled.
2) The idea that you should NEVER punish a child. It will make them forever traumatized. The scars will come out in violence with no cause later in life. We used to have corporeal punishment in school. We used to hit bad kids. Just enough to humiliate or hurt a little. Now we can do nothing to the fragile eggshell mind of the subconscious bound psyche.
ASSESSMENT OF PSYCHOANALYSIS
First of all, what can you say but hats off to Freud. He is probably the single most influential person, again, on how we look at ourselves. He defined psychology more than any other man. He gave us words to understand deep thoughts. He found the subconscious. He taught us the value of our emotions.
a) strengthened our compassion
We now see all humans as more equal, struggling with their issues and feelings. All of us as having feelings.We seek to understand people before we judge them now. We realize that eachother are feeling, not just robotic, people.
We don’t automatically think of people as rotten who are not as society would have them. We cry on their shoulders as they cry on ours.
People no longer sit around and don’t talk about problems. People communicate on a whole other level now. Husbands and wives used to just get married and endure (without much “getting to know you” . Now “getting to know the real you” is a big endeavor for people before they get married. People resolve their issues and grow together in relationships. People try to be authentic about their feelings.
b) weakened our morality.
We no longer say this is right and this is wrong as much as we used to. He really is an animal with lust that controls him.
Our feelings are now a legitamate reason. They are more important than anything else. You have to respect my feelings.
Divorce is way up and acceptable due to Freud. I felt he was ignoring my feelings and needs is now a legitimate grounds for divorce. People talk alot about their needs. They are using this word so loosely.
It is as if biological and emotional impulses were forcing us and we had no equipment with which to
Our minds and our duty have been given second place in importance to our “needs” we will addresss this a bit under cognitive psych. But it is also philisophical.
There is no longer wring and right. There is “My feelings are...” and “But, my feelings are...”
Use active listening and teach I statements,
Then use three of the things from the freud detective series.
Body Language-Freudian slips-